Short answer: A new caregiver is a big change for a baby or toddler. Warm them up with a few overlap days where you stay nearby, a short goodbye routine, and the same Together Time plan from day one. Familiar play with a familiar rhythm tells your child this person is safe, and you still come back.
You don't need a perfect first week. You need a few small, repeatable steps.
Why a new nanny feels so big at 0 to 2
Babies and toddlers build trust through faces, voices, and routines they see again and again. A new nanny or sitter changes all three at once. Even a warm, skilled caregiver is still a stranger for the first few days.
Around 8 to 18 months, many kids hit a normal wave of stranger wariness. They may cling, cry at drop-off, or go quiet. That is not a failed hire. It is a child checking whether their world still holds. Your job in week one is to make the new person feel familiar fast, not to force a bond.
Start with overlap days
Whenever you can, plan two or three short overlap sessions before a full solo day.
- Day 1: You stay in the room. The nanny plays while you fold laundry nearby.
- Day 2: You step into another room for 15 to 20 minutes, then come back. Say where you are going and when you will return.
- Day 3: A longer stretch alone, still with the same goodbye and return cue.
Keep these short at first. A calm 45 minutes beats a long, teary morning. End while things are still mostly okay so the last memory of the new person is a good one.
Build a short goodbye routine
Long goodbyes often make drop-off harder. Kids do better with a short, predictable exit: a hug or kiss, a simple sentence ("I'll be back after lunch"), and a handoff to the nanny or a favorite toy. Then leave.
Do not sneak out. A sneak exit can make the next goodbye worse, because your child learns to watch the door. Stay warm, stay brief, and leave. Coming back when you said you would rebuilds trust. If tears come, the nanny can hold, rock, and start familiar play. Most kids settle within 10 to 20 minutes once the goodbye is done.
Share the same Together Time plan from day one
Connection grows faster when play feels familiar. Give your new nanny the same short Together Time you use at home: about 15 minutes of child-led play, phone down, following what your child chooses.
Your child gets familiar attention. The nanny knows what good enough today looks like. You both talk about the same activities at pickup. If you already use a handoff note, add the day's Together Time. See our caregiver handoff notes guide for a simple format.
Five warm-up Together Time ideas for week one
Keep materials simple. The goal is connection, not a craft project.
1. Floor time with one basket
What to do: Put three or four toys in a small basket. Sit on the floor. Let your child dump or hand them. The nanny describes what they see: "You have the blue cup."
Why it matters: Floor play at the child's level feels safe. Narrating shows the new adult is paying attention.
2. Peekaboo and hide-and-find
What to do: Hide a stuffed animal under a blanket. Find it together with a happy "there it is!" For younger babies, classic face peekaboo works just as well.
Why it matters: Disappear and return games practice the goodbye idea: people leave and come back.
3. Snack and sit
What to do: Sit together for a small snack. Offer bites, wipe faces, and chat about the food. Keep it unhurried.
Why it matters: Feeding is one of the earliest ways babies learn to trust a caregiver.
4. Outside walk or porch time
What to do: A short stroller walk or five minutes on the porch. Point to trucks, birds, and dogs. Use the same route a few days in a row.
Why it matters: A repeated route gives the nanny and child a shared "thing we do."
5. Song and rock
What to do: Sing two or three short songs your child already knows at home. Rock or sway gently. Ask parents which songs work at bedtime or in the car.
Why it matters: Familiar music is a shortcut to calm. Same songs help your child recognize "safe" faster.
What to expect in the first week
Day one may be rocky. Day three often looks better. By week's end, many kids still prefer you at drop-off and still settle with the nanny after. That mix is normal. Watch for small wins: a smile, reaching for a toy they bring, or a shorter cry after goodbye. If your child stays inconsolable for hours or refuses bottles with the new person for days, pause and add more overlap.
Multi-caregiver sticky note plan
Share this with a partner, grandparent, or backup sitter:
New nanny week: 2 to 3 overlap days first. Short goodbye every time (hug, "back after lunch," leave). Same 15-min Together Time plan from day one. Floor play, peekaboo, snack, short walk, or familiar songs. Expect tears at goodbye. Celebrate small warm-ups.
When every adult uses the same goodbye and play rhythm, your child settles faster.
A note from Dr. Alexandra Pillat
"Parents often worry that tears at drop-off mean they chose the wrong person. Tears usually mean your child loves you and is learning a new pattern. Stay for a few overlap days, keep goodbyes short and honest, and give the new caregiver a clear play plan. Trust grows from many small, predictable moments, not from one perfect morning."
Dr. Alexandra Pillat Licensed psychologist · Harvard · Yale Child Study Center · Marcus Autism Center
Soft start: today's Together Time, picked for you
Handing a new nanny a blank slate is hard. One Life gives every caregiver the same Together Time plan each day, about 15 minutes, expert-designed by Dr. Alexandra Pillat across 8 domains. Parent and nanny see one plan.
15 minutes. One plan. Better development before kindergarten.
Want today's plan picked for you? Start for $99/year. Or $10/mo. Charged upfront, cancel within 7 days for a full refund, multi-caregiver included.
Educational disclaimer: One Life Learning provides educational guidance for everyday play and connection. It is not medical, diagnostic, or therapeutic advice and does not replace care from qualified professionals. If your child has extreme separation distress that lasts for weeks, stops eating or sleeping with a trusted caregiver, or you have concerns about their adjustment, talk with your pediatrician.